The Cribs - Ignore the Ignorant

In a year where Arctic Monkeys have grown up, the three brothers from across Yorkshire have been joined by the ultimate elder statesman of indie music, Johnny Marr. Former member of The Smiths and executor of some of the greatest riffs the 80’s had to offer, Marr adds weight to The Cribs’ sometimes tinny sounds.

While this means Ignore the Ignorant lacks the instant appeal of previous albums, repeated listens offer a gateway into a style that is complimented rather than suffocated by the addition of a new guitarist.

Familiar rough vocals are evident in first single, Cheat On Me, while the grand opening from, We Share the Same Skies, illuminates the bands rise in stature.

No longer as raw and impassioned, The Cribs are still uncompromising in their love of contagious choruses, now taking their time, allowing words to float into the consciousness. This is highlighted by the wistful, Last Year’s Snow and the powerful and rangy, Nothing, while, City of Bugs adds yet more grandeur to proceedings.

Gently skipping away from the slightly more commercial sounding Men’s Needs, Women’s Needs, Whatever, the new album is more of a return to their self-titled debut, but five years on, older, bigger and aided by the iconic Marr, maybe a little better.

The Final Destination

The forth instalment of the Final Destination franchise sees Death cheated on once more. I can picture it now. Death sitting at home with a cup of coco before bed, planning a date at the race track for the following afternoon. Sunshine in the sky, the adrenaline of speeding cars, a dodgy spectator stand and careless mechanics, all making for the perfect goodnight kiss of carnage, destruction and multiple fatalities.

Unfortunately, a member of the new gang of 20 somethings, lets call him, Bad Actor, just happens to have a premonition of his impending doom and decides, death, no thanks!

As with the previous offerings, the gorgeous characters are then picked off one by one, this time with set ups so stupefyingly absurd they make Final Destinations 1,2 and 3 seem like reconstructions of real life events on an episode of Crimewatch.

The ridiculousness isn’t the problem. The whole point of the Final Destination series, embarrassingly for us the audience, is to watch on with anticipation and delight as Death burns, chops and explodes its way through nameless pretty faces. Hopefully, making them just as nameless and not so pretty by the end of it all.

The problem is the death scenes are all the same. A bit of wind from a fan or some water makes an everyday item fall improbably onto a lever or some other contraption, starting a domino effect that will somehow cut some ones head off or blow up a cinema. Why, in an area so affluent homeless men treat pennies with distain, does everyone own a fan anyway? Haven’t they heard of air conditioning? Maybe it’s a global warming thing? Yes that’s it, characters with the emotional development of a carrot, are so concerned by climate change they would disregard modern cooling systems to the risk of their own unfortunate demise.

There was a moment where I thought the writers had come up with the genius idea of getting the two female leads to literally talk each other to death!

Instead their death is so painfully obvious and badly written I’m going to tell you what happens. They get hit by a truck. ..

Watchmen

To start with, I must admit that I know next to nothing about the Watchmen story. In fact all I really do know is that one of them, the one with a penchant for delivering compound fractures with alarming regularity, looks a lot like Batman and acts a lot like Superman.

Far from archetypal good guys, the Watchmen encompasses a murderer, a rapist an alcoholic and the mentally deranged. Justice League this certainly isn’t.

Set in an alternate 1985, the story opens with the death of retired superhero, The Comedian, murdered in his penthouse suite by a mysterious villain hidden in the shadows.

Following this is a quite fantastic montage, depicting the fictional history of America, where wars were won and bad guys foiled by the Watchmen, before inevitable human fear demanded the vigilantes are unmasked and held accountable for their actions. Bob Dylan provides the score with, “The Times, They Are A-Changin’”, a song that fits so seamlessly with the images on screen that they could be a single form of media.

The driving force behind the plot is the brutal, mentally scarred, no nonsense face of trilbies and trench coats, Rorschach and his quest to find The Comedian’s murderer.

Flashbacks are used frequently to provide the characters with back story and substance and this works well to bring the story together in a rounded way but I can’t help but want to spend more time in the 1940’s and 50’s where this action takes place.

Now, well I say now but I really mean 1985, Nixon is still in charge, the doomsday clock is at a quarter to midnight and the world is on the verge of a nuclear holocaust with the Watchmen given no authority to defuse the impending conflict.

Most powerful of all, Dr. Manhattan has the ability to see into his own future, teleport to Mars and turn Vietnam soldiers into dust but cannot muster so much as a pair of Y fronts to cover his manhood.

Genetically altered by a radiation accident some years ago, Dr Manhattan had been America’s ace in the pack against the Russians but his, elevated state of being, alienates him so far from the rest of humanity he is unsure whether or not to leave earth to its own destruction.

While visually stunning and often thought provoking, the film seems overloaded. It is a long weekend spent in an alternate reality too vast and too terrific to be truly appreciated in a single films worth of time.

Songs update

Jamie T - Chaka Demus

"Two World Wars and one World Cup!" I'm not even patriotic. On Jamie T's second EP before his album is released (next week i think) the title song Chaka Demus paints a poignant picture of England. "An Englishman in every coward."

Method Man - Sweet Love

Method Man really annoys me, in fact everyone in Wu-Tang apart from Ghostface and Raekwon really annoys me and Raekwon only escapes from this tag because i haven't dared to listen to anything beyond the masterpiece that is, Only Built For Cuban Lynx! The reason why Method Man annoys me in particular is because he's never made a good album, yet on the tracks he shares with other Wu members he often steals the show. The gruff voice and hint of a lisp is unmistakable.

Grand Puba - 2000

Former member of Brand Nubian, Grand Puba had one of the best flows in the business and in this song his delivery and punch lines induce a 3:38 long smile.

The Cribs - Emasculate Me

Review of their new album Ignore The Ignorant is on its way but I thought i'd add the one song that jumped out at me on first listen beyond the singles, We Were Aborted and Cheat On Me.The Cribs still know how to make infectious choruses.